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Lets get rid of the annoying monkeys

Het zijn niet per se de chaoten die overlopen van het werk en hierdoor gestrest raken. Tot nu toe kom ik in mijn werk als professional organizer voor de zakelijke markt geen notoire rommelkonten tegen. Nee, het probleem zit hem vaak in de combinatie van een hoge mate van perfectionisme en een enorm verantwoordelijkheidsgevoel. In de ogen van deze mensen moet alles tot in de puntjes verzorgd zijn, en een verzoek van een collega kan maar beter stante pede opgepakt worden. En oh ja: delegeren is uit den boze! Als ze het zelf doen gaat het sneller en beter. Gevolg: zelfs de meest gestructureerde persoon loopt over en raakt de grip op de werkdag volkomen kwijt.
 

Ja, ja, we weten het wel

Het is heel verleidelijk om als buitenstaander de tip ‘voel je gewoon wat minder verantwoordelijk’ te geven. Rationeel weet de overbelaste collega het wel: ja, er zijn grenzen aan je vermogen om alles in goede banen te leiden en… ja, ook aan je energie. Ze weten het wel, want ze voelen het letterlijk: zowel fysiek als psychisch. De eerste burnout-achtige klachten komen om de hoek kijken en het werkplezier daalt. Maar toch… dat zeurende, knagende stemmetje dat alles moet en nee zeggen desastreus is voor het eindresultaat overstemt alles en iedereen.
 

Verantwoordelijk voelen is een kwaliteit…tot het niet meer goed voelt

Herken je jezelf in het beeld van de oververantwoordelijke collega? Jezelf overal verantwoordelijk voor voelen en de lat hoog leggen komt niet uit de lucht vallen; je wordt naast je persoonlijkheid gevormd door het systeem waarvan je deel uitmaakte en nu deel van uitmaakt. Denk aan je directe familie, maar ook aan je huidige sociale kringen. Het is om welke reden dan ook een overlevingsstrategie en het heeft je waarschijnlijk ook veel gebracht. Ongetwijfeld ben je ook een gewaardeerde collega voor anderen: immers: je hebt hart voor de zaak, bent een harde werker en men kan altijd bij jou terecht en vertrouwen op jouw kwaliteit. Wees dan ook niet boos of teleurgesteld in jezelf dat je deze eigenschappen hebt. Probeer alleen de scherpe kantjes eraf te halen wanneer ze contraproductief voor je gaan werken.
 

Buy yourself some time

Maar hoe doe je dat dan, die scherpe kantjes er af halen? Ik denk dat de oplossing vooral zit in tijd kopen voor jezelf. Wanneer er een collega binnenkomt met een verzoek, reageer dan niet meteen, maar tel tot 10 en stel eventueel verdiepende vragen (wat kun je zelf doen? waarom kom je precies bij mij? welke alternatieve oplossingen zie je, naast mij inschakelen?). Beslis ook niet meteen, maar geef aan dat je er later op terugkomt.

Mensen die zichzelf snel verantwoordelijk voelen interpreteren een situatie vaak direct als urgent, belangrijk. Gun jezelf wat tijd om de situatie te overzien en overstijgen. Kruip uit je hoofd (laat je denkpatronen even los, die vertroebelen onze waarnemingen!) en probeer de situatie zo feitelijk mogelijk te analyseren.

Neem tijdens je mini break de volgende zaken in acht:

  • Wat is het ergste wat er zou gebeuren als je dit aapje niet op je schouder neemt? Hoe reëel is die kans?
  • Wat zou je een ander adviseren in jouw situatie (dit dwingt je om afstand te nemen tot de situatie)?
  • Moeite om ‘nee’ te verkopen? Ga dan onderhandelen of bied zelf alternatieve oplossingen aan
  • Waar zeg je nee tegen (taken die in de verdrukking komen) als je ja tegen het verzoek zegt? Is dat het je waard?
  • Wie kan je helpen als je het aapje tóch adopteert?

Zet een reminder op je bureau welke je eraan herinnert om tot 10 te tellen bij iedere keer dat iemand binnenloopt of mailt met een verzoek. Probeer het maar eens!

_________________________________________________________________________

Optiwork Organizing & Advies: voor alle vraagstukken op het gebied efficiënt en effectief werken. Sandra van Dijk, Professional Organizer en Sociale & Organisatiepsychologe, info@optiworkadvies.nl




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